A Controller's Journal
by tdogg
Summary: 50 years after #54, a young girl finds the journal of a former controller that was written during her few hours of freedom every three days.  Rated T for safety.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Animorphs or any of its characters. I only own my OC's and my ideas.

Full Summary: 50 years after #54. A young girl finds a journal of a former controller. Story is told from controller's journals that she wrote while her yeerk fed. POV is a combination of the girl's POV and the controller's journal.

A Controller's Journal

Prologue

"Katie, time to go," said my mom.

"I'm coming," I replied. I was with my family on a picnic in the country. As I walked back to our car, something caught my eye. I walked the short distance and found a black notebook. I flipped it open, thinking it was one of my brother's homework notebooks. I was surprised what I found. It was a journal belonging to a woman.

"Katie," my mom said, almost shouting. I closed the notebook and went to the car, with it under my arm. We drove home, my family not noticing it. Once we were home, I went straight to my room. I laid down on my bed and flipped open the journal and began reading.

Chapter 1

April 28, 1999.

Dear journal,

My name is Chloe Thomas. I am 28 years old. I am writing this down so that if the yeerks ever lose, someone can find this and know my story. I will write as much as I can while I wait in the cage while Inis feeds.

I had a wonderful family. I lived with my mom and dad, three older brothers and a younger sister. We lived in a small town in Indiana. I got along with everyone in my family, especially my younger sister. My siblings were, Aaron, who is 10 years older than me, Greg, who is 7 years older, Nick, who is 4 years older, and Caitlyn, who is three years younger.

I had a really good friend, Morgan. Looking back on our friendship, I wonder how much my life would have been different if we were not friends.

(Journal)

The day that started the change in my life was a Tuesday in April. My 16 birthday was a couple of weeks away. I met Morgan at our usual table for lunch. "What are you doing after school?" I asked.

"My mom is making me go to this stupid thing called the Sharing."

"Why?"

"She just became a full member and she thought that I should start going. She's not giving me much of a choice."

"That is stupid. She should let you decide. All I can say is have fun."

"Please, come with me. I want someone there who I can talk to."

"No way. Your mom is making you go, not me."

"Please. Just this once. If you don't like it, I won't make you go again."

"Just this once," I said.

"Thank you." I called my mom to tell her my plan before I headed to my next class. After school, I went to my locker, grabbed the things I needed to do homework and then went to meet Morgan.

"Hello, Mrs Thomas," I said, getting into the van.

"Hello, Chloe. I'm glad you could come." Morgan had called her mom to tell her that I would be coming. Morgan's mom drove downtown to the community center.

Morgan and I followed her mom into the building. The place was busy. I recognized a few kids from school, and other people from around town. Mrs Thomas excused herself to go to a full member's meeting while Morgan and I walked around. We ended up at the air hockey tables and started playing.

After ten minutes of playing, a boy came over. I recognized him immediately. "Hey, Chris," I said. I saw Morgan's face as she was fighting back a smirk. She knew I had a crush on Chris.

"Hey, Chloe. You just start coming?"

"Yeah," I replied. "You?"

"I've been a member for a couple of weeks. I'm glad you started coming. This is a great place and a wonderful organization." He walked away. I turned to Morgan.

"Go after him," she said. I did not need being told twice. I followed Chris across the room. He was talking to another boy from our class.

"Is there more?" Chris said, once he realized I was there.

"I have a crush on you." It just slipped out. I thought he would laugh, but he just smiled. "I'm sorry, it just slipped out."

"That's okay. I like you too." My eyes widened. I had not expected this. "Would you like to go out tomorrow?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Pick you up at 6?"

"Yeah," I replied.

"Okay. I need to go." He walked away and I returned to Morgan.

"How'd it go?" Morgan asked.

"I have a date tomorrow."

"Great." We spent the rest of the afternoon playing various games.

(Cage)

I've got to go journal. The cage is now empty, and Hork-Bajir are coming toward my cage. I will write as soon as possible. This is Chloe, signing out.

(Katie)

It was late, so I closed the notebook and put it on my nightstand. I turned off my light and crawled into bed, intent on reading more tomorrow.

A/N. Please R&R. Hope you are enjoying. I thought this would be something different to write. I have some ideas on where this will go, but I am opened to ideas.

Preview: Katie reads about Chloe's date with Chris.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Animorphs or any of its characters. I only own my OC's and my ideas.

Chapter 2

(Katie)

I woke up earlier than usual. It was a Saturday in July. I reached over to the journal, picked it up and turned on my bed side light. I flipped it to the next entry.

(journal)

May 1, 1999.

Dear Journal,

Hey, journal. Inis just left to feed. It was a long three days. He was busy helping the yeerks tracking down the andalite bandits. Well back to my story.

As soon as I got home, I got permission to go out with Chris. My dad worked with his mom, so he knew that he was a great kid. The next day, after school, I went straight home to get ready for our date. Chris picked me up at 6 on the dot. I followed him out to his car. "So what are we going to do?"

"I was thinking movie and dinner."

"Sounds good." He drove to the movie theater, and he bought tickets to the romantic comedy that was playing. Since we were eating out afterwards, we only got small drinks. We sat together, holding hands throughout the entire movie.

Once the movie was over, we went to the local diner just down the street. We talked the entire time, except when we had food in our mouth. After dinner, he drove me home. He walked me to the front door. I hesitated in front of the door. "I had a wonderful night," I said.

"So did I," Chris replied. He took a step closer and kissed me on the lips. I kissed back, before walking into my house. I went straight to the window to watch Chris drive away.

We continued dating, and I continued going to the Sharing. Two months after I started going, I was asked if I wanted to become a full member. I knew it meant more responsibility, but it also meant more time with Chris, so I agreed.

One Saturday morning, they had a private meeting. I was there with 5 other people. Morgan was sitting next to me. We were in a pretty basic room, much like a doctor's waiting room, but without the reading material. "I wonder what is going to happen?" I asked Morgan.

"I have no idea," Morgan replied. "I asked my mom, but she said I would just have to wait and see." An hour after we arrived, Chris walked into the room. I gave him a wave and he waved back.

"Lisa," he said. A young woman got up and followed him through the door. Morgan and I continued our conversation. Chris returned twenty minutes later. "Chloe." I got up and followed him through the door. I looked back at the room and Morgan before following him down the hallway. We did not go very far before he stopped in front of a door. He opened it up and he went in. I followed him in.

The room was empty except for a few men. "Welcome, Chloe," said my school's vice principal, Mr Chapman. Chris led me to a chair and I sat down. "We brought you here to make sure you are truly willing to become a full member of the Sharing. Why do you want to become one?"

"I think it will be a different experience and I have had fun in my time here."

"Are you willing to submit yourself to the Sharing?" asked another man.

"Yes," I replied. Mr Chapman motioned to Chris.

"Come on," he said. He led me out of the room and further down the hallway. He stopped at another door and opened it. I followed him in and found myself at the top of a staircase that seemed to go underground. Chris walked down the stairs and I followed. As we descended, I was hit by a strange aroma. Lisa walked past us as we descended. She smiled at me and continued walking.

We reached the bottom of the staircase, and I found myself in a large cavern. In the middle, was a large greenish-grey pool, with two piers going across. Along the walls were several cages that were empty. There were several strange creatures that looked like gigantic razorblades. I froze. "It's okay," said Chris, placing a hand on my cheek. I calmed down. "They won't hurt you." He led me along side the pool and across one of the piers. I looked at the surface of the pool and realized that there was something swimming in it.

"What are those?" I asked.

"They are called yeerks."

"What are they?"

"They are an alien parasite. They will enter your head through your ear and then wrap their bodies around your brain and take control. It does not hurt and it makes your life easier. No more worries, someone to talk to. We are here to help you."

"I'm not sure about this. I don't like the idea of someone else controlling me."

"Well, that's a problem. You don't have a choice now." Chris kicked my feet from under me and I fell to my knees. A couple of the bladed creatures came over and pushed my head into the pool, as I struggled. A few seconds later, I felt a yeerk touch my ear and push its way in. It hurt at first, but the pain eventually subsided. A minute later, I stopped struggling. My head was lifted out of the pool. I tried to scream, but my lips never moved.

_What's going on? _I shouted.

_Hello, slave. My name is Onan 234. I am a yeerk and your new master._ "I" stood up and straightened my clothes.

"How is your host, Onan?" asked Chris.

"Excellent. She is struggling, but nothing I cannot manage." Chris and I walked to the staircase. Morgan was being led down the stairs. I tried to tell her to run, but my lips never moved. Chris went back to the room where they talked to potential hosts while I walked back to the waiting room and out of the community center.

_I can't believe Chris would do this to me._

_ Foolish human. Chris never loved you. His yeerk only took advantage of your crush on him to get you to join the Sharing._

_ I don't believe you._

_ Face it human, Chris never loved you. It was all just apart of getting you to become a full member._ We got home and I went straight to my room. Onan was quite in my head, probably thinking about how to get my family.

Three days later, Onan had to feed in the yeerk pool. I would get a few hours of freedom. Morgan's mom gave us a ride to the middle school, which had the nearest entrance to the pool. Once inside the school, we joined the line going to the janitor's closet.

After 10 minutes, we reached the pool and I went to the line for regeneration. Morgan went first. She knelt down, assisted by the Hork-Bajir, the bladed creatures as I learned they were called. She tilted her head over the pool. I watched her yeerk, Onan 340, fall into the pool. "Let go of me," shouted Morgan. Two Hork-Bajir came and took her to a cage and threw her in.

It was now my turn. Onan had me kneel down and tilted my head over the pool. I felt Onan release his control and hit the pool. "You cannot do this to me." Two Hork-Bajir grabbed me and threw me into a cage. I stood up immediately and started screaming.

"It is no use," said a male voice I recognized. I turned around to see Chris. "I'm sorry for what I did to you."

"It's not your fault," I replied. "You weren't in control." Chris hugged me. I pushed him away. "I have to know. Your love for me, was that you, or your yeerk trying to get me to become a full member."

"I really do love you. Henin took advantage of that." He kissed me and I kissed back. We spent the rest of the time together. They first came for Chris and dragged him back to the second pier. A little while later, they came for me. I struggled all the way until Onan had control of my body.

_Pathetic human. Love means nothing. Love is just a word._

_ No, it is a feeling and how Chris feels about me._

I've got to sign off. The Hork-Bajir are coming for me. To whoever reads this, find someone you love and never let them go. This is Chloe, signing out.

"Katie, time to get up," said my mom. I closed the notebook and put it away. I got dressed and went downstairs for breakfast.

A/N. Please R&R. Hope you are enjoying. So Chloe is now a controller in her story.

Preview: Next entry. Chloe's story part skips a few years.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Animorphs or any of its characters. I only own my OC's and my ideas.

Chapter 3

After breakfast was over, I went back to my room to continue reading. I loved reading this story. We heard the stories in school, as it was now apart of our history.

May 4, 1999.

Dear Journal,

Hey, Journal. Well, life hasn't changed much. Inis is still busy as ever. Amy is getting bigger by the day. She is really energetic for a four years old. I'm just worried about when the day comes to infest her. Hopefully, by that day, the yeerks will be defeated. Back to the story.

Over the next two years, Onan proceeded to be me. He easily fooled my family and friend. Chris and I continued dating, the yeerks claiming that it was to keep up the human charade. Morgan and I were still friends, also a part of the charade. By the time that I had graduated from high school, my sister, youngest brother and parents were all controllers. My two oldest brothers lived too far away to make controllers for the moment, according to Onan.

Morgan, Chris and I all went to the local college, though we could have easily gone to one farther away.

About a month after we started college, Chris and my yeerks were promoted. Apparently, they had helped capture some important hosts. Chris and I headed to the pool. It wasn't a usual feeding time, so the place was empty, much like it had been when I was first infested.

Onan left my head for the final time. We were briefly tossed in a cage, while they brought in Onan and Henis's new hosts. Both of the hosts were struggling as their heads were pushed under. Once they left, we were taken from the cages. I was first, my head being forced under. I felt my new yeerk enter my ear and take over.

I straightened my clothes and waited for Chris. _Hello, Chloe,_ said my new yeerk. _I am Inis 449. It is a pleasure to meet you._

_ Why are you being nice to me?_

_ I am apart of the Yeerk Peace Movement. I do not like being mean to my host._ As we walked out of the pool, Chris and I held hands.

_So is Chris' yeerk also a part of the Yeerk Peace Movement?_

_ Yes. Chris' yeerk is Omin 234._ Chris gave me a ride to my house. I went to my room. _You've had an interesting life, Chloe._

_ I know. _

_ You really love Chris don't you?_

_ More than anything. I know you know about me, but I know nothing about you._

_ I was born on the Yeerk home planet. My first host had been a female Hork-Bajir. She was a wonderful host, involuntary of course. It was during my time controlling her that I fully began to understand why some hosts were involuntary, and I started not liking controlling someone against their will._

_ In a way, you are doing that now._

_ I was hoping to get you to be voluntary. I would rather have someone who is willing or not have a host at all. I really only control you because I have to._

_ Yeah._

_ Maybe we could try to get along like friends._

_ It might take awhile. You controlling my body does not put you high on my friendship list._

_ If our roles were reversed, I would probably feel the same way. _Our conversation ended there as my mom called me for dinner. After dinner, Inis and I continued our conversation. I learned more about her and her adventures. I even found out that she was one of the Hork-Bajir that had held my head under when Onan first infested me. Inis had apologized for that, and I had accepted.

The next day, I had class. I was majoring in elementary education, another ploy to keep up my charade. I had wanted to be an elementary school teacher since I was young. It was a math class, and the only one I had with Chris. We sat together, taking notes. After that, I headed off to English.

After school, I drove home. Chris had yeerk things to do. We had planned on a date tonight, but now it was a matter of whether he got done or not. In the end, the date did not happen. We were both busy the next day with the Sharing. The following evening, Inis needed to feed.

I went with my family to the pool. Once Inis was out of my head, they threw me in a cage. I was in the same one as Chris, so we sat together, shared a few kisses before being taken back out to be infested again. Inis was rather quite on the way home. _Is something wrong? _

_ Nothing. Nothing is wrong._

_ Even though I cannot read your thoughts, I know you are lying. Tell me._

_ You'll find out soon enough._

_ Secrets don't make friends._ Inis laughed.

_I already know you won't hate me for not telling you. Don't worry, it's a good thing._ I went to my room and fell asleep. I was surprised that I could sleep, even with the secret that Inis was hiding from me.

The following day, I spent just hanging around the house. Chris wasn't supposed to pick me up until 5. As I was getting ready, my sister Caitlyn came in. "Why are you even doing this Inin?" asked Anor, her yeerk. "There is no need to keep the charade around us."

"It is more for the charade for the outside world. There are many people out there, that are not controllers, who know my host and Chris are dating, and that we are deeply in love. There would be no way to break off the relationship without someone thinking something was wrong. Besides, it keeps our hosts from yelling at us."

"Very well, have fun." Cailtyn walked out.

_Keep our hosts from yelling at us?_

_ More of a charade. I am glad that you found someone like Chris._

_ Thank you. _I pulled out a baggie of water from a drawer, which I did not know was there. _What's that for?_

_ I thought you would like to be in control of your body on your date._ That made me break down and cry.

_Thank you, thank you._

_ You're going to keep me in your pocket just as a precaution. You can always slip me in your ear if necessary._ I got up and checked the hallway and shut my door. I went over to my bed and tilted my head sideways. I felt Inis release her connections, after saying, _good luck_. I felt her leave my head.

I took a moment to look down at her. I had seen yeerks up close before but never Inis. I picked her up and placed her in the baggie and sealed it with a little air in it. I placed it in my coat pocket and went downstairs. It felt strange being in control of my body and not being at the pool. Chris was already waiting downstairs. "Hey," I said.

"Hey," was his reply. I followed him outside to his car. He held the door open for me. I had no idea where he was taking me, so I was surprised when he pulled into the parking lot of one of the nicer and more expensive restaurants in town. We were led to our table once we were in, Chris already having made a reservation.

We ordered our drinks and looked at the menu. "So, Chloe," Chris asked. "Does anything look good?"

"There is a lot on this menu that I would eat. The problem is choosing which one." It felt strange being here and in control of my body. I knew the risk that Inis was taking by doing this for me, and I was grateful that she was doing it. I knew we could easily be killed if we were discovered doing this.

I ended up getting the meatloaf dinner. After our waitress left, I excused myself to the bathroom. When I returned, Chris was just looking around. I sat down and picked up my glass for a drink. As I started drinking, something in my glass caught my attention. I put my glass down and pulled it out. It was a ring with a beautiful diamond.

I was so busy admiring it that I had not noticed Chris and moved from his seat. He took the ring from my hand and got down on one knee. "Chloe Marie Andrews. I promise to love you forever. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?" Now I understood why Inis wanted me to be in control. Even though I did not answer right away, I did not need to time think of my response.

"Yes," I replied. Chris put the ring on my finger and we kissed.

Well, I've got to go. The Hork-Bajir are coming. This is Chloe, signing off.

I closed the journal, deciding that I would continue reading later. I headed downstairs to the phone to call my best friend.

A/N. Please R&R. Hope you are enjoying. So Chloe got a new yeerk and is now engaged. That is quite a chapter.

Preview: Author's notes. I want to share some things, including the origins of this story.


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